Marimo and Mistletoe
by Miss-Hirokins.x
Summary: Celebrating the festive season, a drunken Sanji finds a whole new way to please the ladies... Zoro/Sanji oneshot - Christmas special! R&R please!


**CHRISTMAS EVE!**

**So as a Christmas present to yaoi fans, I wrote this silly little oneshot. This is my first time writing One Piece fanfiction, so sorry if it's a bit OOC. This is meant to be a bit silly and light hearted. Oh and in this story, Zoro and Sanji are already in a relationship.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece - if I did Zoro and Sanji would be a couple ^_^  
**

* * *

Cheers and laughter hung around the lively room in which the Straw Hats were dining. The Thousand Sunny had made a stop at an island which the crew had been travelling to with anticipation. This island, was _the _place to go at Christmas time. The snow drifted down softly from the sky and the Christmas lights shone straight through to the heart, warming the body up. There wasn't a single house in this small town which hadn't been decorated.

Christmas was a happy time for everyone, especially pirates. All the marines were so caught up in the festivities, they rarely noticed the presence of outlaws in the area. A lot of them gave up going after pirates, as by this time of the year, they were ready for a well needed break. Sometimes, the spirit of Christmas posessed the Marines, and they would even wish some pirates a "Merry Christmas" and a "Happy New Year". But this was very rare and such Marines had often had a substantial amount to drink before hand. Also, with all the decorations around, people hardly ever looked at the wanted posters. Christmas really was the best time of the year.

The crew were sat in an inn on the island, where they were taking a Christmas break from the ship. After spending months living on a ship, it was nice to wind down and spend the night on land. Also, the crew were down on supplies, so now was the perfect time to go shopping for some. At this inn, the festive spirit was really alive, and there were people dancing and rejoicing, singing songs of Christmas. The pirates were also celebrating the time of year. Usually they would celebrate the evening on ship, but this year had been a hard one, so Luffy had decided it was going to be no work and all play this year. Well that and the fact that Sanji refused to cook another Christmas dinner as every year he would receive complaints about the turkey being dry. Out of every dish he knew, Christmas dinner was the one thing Sanji couldn't master. And as you can imagine, this drove him insane.

The crew were sat around the table, apart from Zoro, Chopper and Sanji. Zoro and Chopper had gone to bribe the man in charge of the docks to let the them dock the ship where they had. Zoro knew that with Choppers unbelievable cuteness, there was no way the man would say no. Not to mention the fact that he was also a reindeer - you couldn't get any more festive than that. There were empty seats where they had been sitting. However the crew were dreading his return as it was going to be a nightmare explaining the Sanji situation...

Sanji on the other hand had drifted away from the Straw Hat's table and was now surrounded by 15 pretty young women, who were enchanted by him. The crew had lost count of how many drinks he had drunk, but however much the amount was, it was one more than he should've drank. Spewing out lines which sounded like extracts from Shakespearean sonnets, and shooting dramatic looks of endeavour and passion at the girls, he was causing a dangerous rise in their heartbeats. This kind of behaviour used to be regarded as "acceptable", but that was before Sanji had his heart stolen by Zoro. The pair had been in a relationship for a while now, and although Sanji still would gawk at women (usually Nami) every now and again, his days of "picking up chicks" were over. Or so he had said.

* * *

"It's great to be back inside." Zoro sighed to himself as he re entered the room with Chopper in tow. It had taken slightly longer than expected to bribe the man, as with the weather so cold, it had taken Chopper slightly longer to melt his heart. That and the fact that Zoro had gotten lost about 5 times and ended up walking in circles for about 10 minutes. As he walked further into the room, he felt the warm humidity in the air of the room brushing against his skin, warming him up. He then faced the issue of trying to navigate his way through the dimly lit room to where his party were sat. After another few minutes, he finally managed to locate the table where he had been sitting."Hey guys." He greeted, indicating his and Chopper's return. The crew all jolted and turned to face him, nervous smiles spread across their faces.

"Z-zoro!" Nami started, breaking the tension slightly. Their instructions were to make sure that whatever happened, Zoro did not look in Sanji's direction. This of course was near impossible, but hey, if they could make a ship fly then anything was possible. Usopp and Franky closed up the gap between them, to block the view of Sanji chatting up the group of girls behind them.

"You took a while!" Usopp stated, hoping a conversation would distract Zoro's limited attention span.

"You don't say." Chopper growled agitatedly. He had just spent the last 15 minutes dragging behind Zoro hopelessly, having given up telling him that he was going the wrong way.

"Well what matters is that you're here now, right?" Robin quickly intervened, before Zoro's ego kicked in. Everyone nodded in agreement. Just when Zoro was beginning to wind down, he noticed there was something missing.

"Hey," he started, sounding angry. The crew gulped, fearing his next words.

_"He's noticed!"_

"...Where's the rest of my turkey gone?" he asked. The was a huge sigh of relief, and then realisation that they didn't know the answer to that question. However, you could make a educated guess as to where the rest of Zoro's meal had disappeared to. Luffy laughed awkwardly, putting on an innocent face.

"Well...I might have...um...misplaced it..." he started, hoping that the double bluff might work.

"You ate it you bastard!" Zoro raised his fist, ready to punch Luffy, but was stopped by Nami's strong arms.

"No fighting at Christmas, or else!" she ordered, irritated by the constant bickering within the crew. Practically every man in the inn obeyed her orders, enticed by her festive outfit. She was dressed in a cute Santa dress which had caused several nosebleeds on and off ship. There was a moment's silence which was broken by the sound of a drunken laugh and the giggles of 15 girls. Zoro recognised this laugh instantly.

"Where is that shitty cook anyway?" Zoro asked, having just noticed his boyfriend's absence. He fought his way over his friend's attempts to hide Sanji from his view and peered over. He instantly stopped dead, all words escaped him. "What the hell?" he grumbled, disgusted at Sanji's behavior. Shaking off Luffy, Usopp and Chopper, who were trying to restrain him, he made his way over to his blonde haired lover.

"...isn't that just crazy?" Sanji exclaimed, earning lots of laughs from his female crowd. Zoro cleared his throat, signifying his presence. Sanji looked up at him, grinning mischeviously."Ahhh Zoro I was wondering when you would be coming back." he sighed, standing up to embrace him. However, instead of feeling his lover's arms around him, he felt them pushing him away instead.

"Just what exactly are you doing, shitty cook?" Zoro asked, demanding an answer. Sanji chuckled slyly. He approached Zoro again and leaned over, whispering in his ear:

"Trying a new technique." he whispered, sending shivers down Zoro's spine. The girls began to get curious about Zoro and Sanji's relationship (as well as being smitten by their appearances).

"What do you mean 'new tech-'" All of a sudden, Zoro found himself being pulled closer to his nakama.

"Ladies, I would like to introduce my partner, Zoro." Sanji announced. All of a sudden, the females winced slightly, enthralled by what Sanji had just said.

_"Partner! What kind of partner?..."_

"Hello Zoro!" they all greeted in unison. Zoro smiled politely and said "hello" back. These girls seemed transfixed by the couple...just what exactly was going on?

"Ahh, it's a good thing these lovely ladies are here. I was beginning to feel so lonely without you..." Sanji said, with that same sly smirk still plastered on his face. His arms began to snake around his nakama's body, his hands running along the well toned muscles.

"Grrrr...you seem more idiotic then usual..." Zoro growled angrily, clearly annoyed by his partner's actions. But still, Sanji seemed unphased, that grin still there._"Just what is he scheming?"_

"Ohh forgive me! It's just difficult you know..." Sanji shot a daring glance at the group of girls who were watching the scene before them intensly, their bodies trembling slightly, eyes watering."...all I want is to make both you and these women happy..." Sanji turned back to his lover and moved his mouth up to his ear. Zoro could smell the alcohol in Sanji's breath.."...how about this?" All of a sudden, Zoro felt Sanji's tongue run across the edge of his ear, tickling the sensitive nerves which were there.

"Ahhh!" he gasped, before muffling himself with his hands. He had been so caught up, trying to decode Sanji's actions, his manouvre had caught him competely off guard. The "audience" had also let out a small cry, echoing Zoro's. Sanji gently stroked Zoro's cheek, which had turned a bright red.

"Well what do you know, mistletoe!" Sanji (rather cheesily) exclaimed. Above him and Zoro, a sprig of mistletoe was hanging from the ceiling. Zoro's face went even redder than before and an excited cheer squeaked out of the girls."I think you know what that means Zoro..." Sanji said suggestively.

"NO WAY IN HE-" Before Zoro could finish, he felt a warm pair of lips being pressed onto his. Once the cook had made contact, Zoro couldn't resist and gave in. It was Christmas after all. As the pair engaged in the festive kiss, there were masses of squeals erupting from the women who's fantasies about the couple were coming true.

"MOEEEE!"

"KYAAAA!"

"KAWAIII!"

"WE LOVE YOUU!"

Luffy turned to Nami and asked,"What the hell is 'Moe'?"

Nami shrugged, sighing,"Beats me."

Zoro pulled away from the kiss when he finally figured out what Sanji was doing. The blonde chuckled to himself, proud of his achievement "You hear that - they love mee!" Love hearts throbbed in place of Sanji's eyes, uplifted by the girls comments.

"Hey I'm not some freak show!" Zoro snapped frustratedly. Then an idea sprung to mind. It was time he gave Sanji a taste of his own medicine."...besides, lets not forget who the _uke_ of this relationship is..."

A shocked and sharp inhale of breath came from the fangirls, followed by quiet murmurs. Sanji's cocky smile immediately disappeared, his jaw nearly reaching the floor. He heard a few sniggers from the table nearby where Usopp and Luffy were sat. His pale skin had turned a bright crimson and his fine, confident composure had cracked into pieces.

"Hey, t-that's irrelevant!" he quickly stammered. Zoro chuckled mischievously as he repositioned himself so that he was facing as much as the room as possible.

"Oh you should have seen him last night..." he started in his loudest voice possible. Zoro usually kept his private life private, but right now all he wanted to do was embarrass the drunken blonde who stood before him."...he was so cute, bless him." He looked back at the cook, an evil smile ran along his lips.

"Huh?" Sanji had a look of horror, slowly becoming more and more enraged by what the swordsman was doing. Zoro turned to face his audience, putting on the cutest face he could and putting his voice up one octave.

"'Oh Zoro, don't look at me...it's...it's embarrassing...'" Zoro's impersonation of his lover was like ecstasy to the women and had the crew of the Thousand Sunny in stitches. Fire lit up behind Sanji, enraged by Zoro's impression of him.

"T-THAT NEVER HAPPENED!" Sanji yelled. He growled as he could hear the shrieking laughs of his friends at the table. Zoro chuckled menacingly to himself as he continued.

"...Oh! No...not _there_ Zoro-kuun!" he cried out in an exaggerated manner. Some of the girls were beginning to have heart failures. Zoro usually hated to make a scene, but this was just too much fun. Usopp was rolling on the floor in hysterics, whilst Luffy had was clasping his stomach, banging his fist on the table loudly as he laughed away. The others were slightly more dignified but we're still beside themselves. Sanji was struggling for words as he tried pathetically to get people to listen to him. Never in his life had he been so humiliated, and for and ego like his, this was pretty hard to take. At the top of his voice, he shouted:

"Well at least I don't fall asleep in the middle of sex! Only a complete idiot does that!"

"That only happened because you were so shit!" Zoro argued back. This started to look like it could turn ugly. Usopp had covered Choppers ears, so that his innocent mind wasn't scarred.

"Don't talk bullshit you stupid marimo! All you ever do is satisfy yourself!" Everyone froze. There was a short, awkward silence where Zoro decided what to do next. An idea sprung into mind and he finally settled on a _punishment_ for Sanji

"So you're unsatisfied...huh?" Zoro sounded furious. "Well in that case..." he started. Suddenly, his strong muscular arm reached out and grabbed Sanji, flinging him over his shoulder."...I'll give you what you want."

"W-what do you mean?" Sanji became slightly anxious. He knew well that when Zoro got mad, there were usually dire consequences.

"Well, let's put it this way - you're not gonna be walking tomorrow..." he turned to the others."Goodnight you guys." He then turned to the crowd of lovestruck women, a small polite smile replacing his evil one."Ladies."

"Goodnight Zoro-chaaan! Goodnight Sanji-chaaan!" they all chanted in unison, in a daze. Sanji however, was not in the same happy mood. As Zoro carried him away, he kept grabbing on to anything he could in a desperate bid to escape.

"NAMI-SWAAAN! HEELP!" he cried. However she, like the rest of the crew, was too choked up laughing to even move off her seat.

"Hey,I thought this was what you wanted..." Zoro retorted bluntly. The pair's bickering became eventually inaudible as they exited the room and retired to their own.

After a few minutes, Luffy had noticed that the the females we're all in some form of freeze, as if they we're still being hypnotised by Sanji and Zoro's antics. He cautiously reached out a hand, prodding one of them slightly.

"Erm...are you-" he was interrupted by a huge gasp as all the girls looked at each other. It felt almost as if they were communicating in some secret code. There was a big inhale of breath. Some of the crew had already realised what was about to happen and had covered their ears. The unfortunate ones who hadn't were frightened out of the their skins as all of a sudden, there was a huge squeal from the girls.

"SQUEEEEEEEEE!" Suddenly there were mass sprays of blood as a series of projectile nosebleeds erupted from them. The entire inn was gobsmacked, looks of horror and shock were exchanged across the room. Finally, Luffy very gracefully broke the silence with the words:

"Holy shit."

* * *

"Hmph, only some sick bastard like you could get turned on by a fight..." Sanji chortled as his lover caressed his cheek. Zoro returned the laugh, smiling at the cook. Gently, he leaned down and kissed him. Sanji immediately returned the kiss. It gradually became much more passionate and Zoro began to explore the realms of his lover's mouth. Sanji just moaned through it, playing with Zoro's hair as they made out. The alcohol was making him much more needy and impatient. His face had already flushed red, his eyes were moist and watered slightly and small groans would escape his lips.

"And I thought you didn't want this." Zoro chuckled cheekily, playing with his little chef. As he felt Zoro's mouth move away from his and down towards his neck, he gasped slightly. Before Zoro went any further, he whispered lovingly into Sanji's ear,"Merry Christmas, Sanji." And with that, he continued with him and his lover continued their little tryst...

* * *

It was a chilly morning at the inn, and it had taken Zoro a lot of effort to leave the comfort of his warm, soft bed. Now he was sat with Usopp, Nami, Luffy and Chopper - the others having not woken from their own slumbers yet.

"So where is last night's star performer anyway?" Usopp questioned mockingly, laughing slightly as he said it. Zoro had a small, proud smile on his face. There were very faint bags underneath his eyes, indicating that he hadn't had a lot of sleep last night.

"I think he said he was looking for some aspirin." he replied suggestively, a playful glint in his eye. Chopper's concern rose.

"Why? Is he ill?" he asked worriedly. The rest of the table paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to reply.

"Nah, he's just being melodramatic about his hangover. He's fine, really." Zoro answered. A blonde haired chef entered the room, his eyes skimming it til he spotted his nakama. He looked like death; dark circles were under his eyes and he upheld an expression of pure exhaustion and despair."Well, speak of the devil." Zoro chuckled.

"This is gonna be funny." Usopp whispered to Luffy, who nodded in agreement. Sanji began to make his way over to them with the most _peculiar_ walk. As he slowly placed one foot in front of the other, he cursed under his breath.

"Stupid...shitty...bastard...marimo..." he mumbled as he plodded along. However, before he made it to his friends, he heard some females call his name.

"Sanji-kuun!" they called out. It was those girls from last night. He very vaguely remembered them, but the sharp, piercing pain in his head made it difficult to recall.

"Good morning ladies." he greeted softly, forcing the most charming smile he could. Zoro stood up and walked towards the counter to buy more drinks.

"Oh won't you sit with us?" one of the girls asked Sanji, pulling out a chair for him. As soon as Zoro heard this, he decided to make a little detour. Sanji stopped dead - sitting down was going to be hard.

"Ermmm I-I'd much prefer to admire your beauty from an angle." he nearly shouted immediately. Zoro sneakily stood behind an unsuspecting Sanji.

"Now c'mon Sanji, don't be rude - they've saved you a seat." Before he could react, Sanji felt a very strong hand slam him down onto the hard, wooden chair. His face turned into a undescribable shape as bolts of pain shot up his spine.

"OOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!" he screeched, unable to contain the agony he was in. Tears fell from his eyes as he tried to hold his voice back from making any more noise. His cheeks were burning as the entire cafe was either staring or laughing at him. Well, apart from the girls who were in a daze as they imagined the actions which had caused Sanji's "injury."

"Geez, you can never have too much attention, can you." Zoro teased meanly, having just recovered from a fit of laughter.

"GRRR I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD!" Sanji yelled, jumping for his nakama. Usually, Nami would have broken the pair up but she was too hysterical to do anything. In the midst of all the madness, Chopper's laughter suddenly ceased, a look of confusion on his face.

"Hahahaha...I...I don't get it."

* * *

**Mwuahahaha, the wrath of the fangirls!**

**I hope you enjoyed it, and again I apologise for any OOCness. **

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone! :) 3  
**


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